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Cartaphilus, "How to Meet Woman: The Shy Man's Guide to Relationships"

This is for all you shy and lonely guys out there. It's painful enough being alone, but seeing "everyone else" laughing and having a good time with wives and girlfriends, how easy it is to despair of ever gaining these pleasures, to resign yourself to being tortured forever by loneliness, to slip into hopelessness. To give up.

No! You hold in your own hands the power to change your life. If only you could turn the same talent and experience that have brought you success in other pursuits to the challenge of finding, meeting, and creating a relationship with a love mate, what wonders might you yet accomplish? For so many desperate and empty years you have struggled to find a companion, something that seems to come naturally to so many other men, yet you have choked on ashes and bitterness. Nonetheless, it is your very failures that make you worthy of love. You will succeed, you will relate in a rare and meaningful way to a woman, and to a depth that will forever be denied those to whom love comes too easily and who therefore take it for granted. You have remained true to the romantic ideal and have escaped the fate of those cynical burnouts that you envy in moments of weakness. Unlike the professional Romeos, those manipulators and skillful predators who attract women effortlessly, you see a love relationship as the singularly precious thing it is. How very fortunate will be the woman who wins your heart.

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. - Bertrand Russell

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