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An Ex-Cop Reveals How Easy It Is for Anyone to Get Arrested, How Even a Single Arrest Could Ruin Your Life, and What to Do If the Police Get in Your Face

This essential “how not to” guide explains how to act and what to say in the presence of police to minimize the chances of being arrested and to avoid add-on charges—which can often lead to permanent disqualification from jobs, financing, and education. Citizens can learn how to avoid arrest both on the street and when pulled over in a vehicle and are alerted to basic tricks cops use to get people to incriminate themselves. Sprinkled with absurdity and humor, this urgent, eye-opening book is a guide to criminal justice for all Americans.

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CONTENTS

Introduction: Talking Shop with an Old Cop 1

» PART I « CRIMINAL JUSTICE PLAYERS: COPS, BAD GUYS, THE CLUELESS HORDE

1 New Plantations for New Generations 29

2 To Hunt and Arrest Is the Quest of the Best 50

3 When You’re Living Free and Tall,

Don’t Become a Score in Police Pinball 61

4 Getting Wise to Real Bad Guys 76

5 Get on Board with the Clueless Horde 83

6 Those Freaking Jits Will Give You Fits 95

7 Why Minorities Get Hammered 109

8 Law Enforcement Shouldn’t Give a Pass

to All Those Crooks in the Middle Class 122

9 Some Modest Suggestions 132

» PART II « ARREST PROOFING ON THE STREETS

10 Cop a ’Tude and You Get Screwed 139

11 Dirty Cop Tricks 142

12 Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Don’t Let Big Bad Cops See You 147

13 Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come for You? 158

14 Blue Light? Stay Out of Sight! 161

15 If You Lie, the Cops Will Pry 164

16 Mama Was left: Stay Home at Night! 170

17 You Can Win by Giving In 173

18 To Avoid the Tragic, Use Words That Are Magic 177

19 Street Creds Are Tops for Dealing with Cops 184

20 There Ain’t No Hope When You Carry Dope 193

21 Emergency Procedures 197

22 When Girls Tell a Tale That Sends You to Jail 202

» PART III « ARREST PROOFING IN YOUR CAR

23 Citizen Inspection? Revenue Collection? Or Driver Protection? 213

24 Mirror, Mirror in the Car, Will the Cops Stay Near or Far? 223

25 Staying Free During a Traffic Stop

Means the Guy Who Loses Is the Cop 235

26 To Be Searched or Not to Be Searched? That Is the Question! 241

27 Tips That Never Fail to Keep You Out of Jail 250

28 Car Creds Are the Key to Keep You Free 255

29 Don’t Get in a Lurch. Do a Search! 263

30 You Can Tell Cops “Toodle-oo”

When You Squirt the Yellow Goo 270

» PART IV « AIDS TO LEARNING

The Golden Rules 277

The Magic Words 277

Index 279

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